Delirious Ramblings of a Single Mommy!

Well, with hubby gone, I'm learning what it means to be truly 'on my own' when it comes to doing anything with the kiddos! Getting out of the house, eating a meal, running an errand, giving baths, getting them to bed...these are all things that we (Michael & I) do as a team. With one of us missing, it takes at least twice as long to accomplish anything! I'm not liking it.

First let me say that I do not like to be alone - ever! I went from living with my parents to living with Michael (after we were married, of course) and dislike it when I'm left in the house without him. Having a child in my bed does help me sleep some, but I'm still up at least 4 or 5 times. I wake up with every stupid noise - it's so irritating! Actually going to bed is a different animal all together. I stay up watching anything & everything on TV; I stay up until I'm falling asleep on the couch, and only move to my bed because it is more comfortable. Once in bed, my eyes pop open and I lay there for what could potentially be hours, waiting for sleep to overtake me once again. But then, it takes little-to-nothing to wake me up again.

My first night alone entailed my having my youngest, Ian, in bed with me. This wasn't by choice, but by necessity since he was refusing to stay in his bed. I sold his baby bed earlier this week, so I didn't have any other way to keep him in his room. I put him in my bed around 1:30AM hoping that I would be able to fall asleep again, but then started coughing. I've had a cold for about a week now, and my having to talk to him apparently irritated my throat just enough to cause me an hour-long coughing spasm. It was fun! Anyway, with my coughing off & on, him waking up and bolting out of the room for no apparent reason, and my nose deciding when I could & could not breath through it, I think I got about 4 hours of sleep. I did finally set up his playpen last night, but in my delirious state of sleepy-ness the prior evening, setting up the playpen just didn't compute. I wish it had!!

Last night was a bit better - Ian was confined to the play pen - but I made an error in judgment when I allowed Alex to sleep with me. He was all over the place. I swear he did a full 360 during the course of the night. And don't get me started with the talking - he spent a good portion of the night mumbling! Add to that the strange-but-typical noises that I kept hearing, and you get what amounts to another 3 or 4 hours of sleep!

Tonight is supposed to be Morgann's turn to sleep with mommy, but I'm hoping to sort of conveniently forget about it, in hopes she will too. I desperately need a bed free of children and am hoping to fall into full-blown REM before midnight :)

Daddy is supposed to be home by tomorrow night, and I'm soooo looking forward to that prospect. Not only do I need the bed-partner to keep me safe from the strange noises, but I need my teammate to assist me with the kiddos - or maybe take over for about 2 hours so that I can have some quiet time. Either way, I hope he's enjoyed his time away because it'll be 'all him' when he returns :)