Seriously????

Ok, I'm a planner...well, maybe that isn't exactly true. Most of the time, we fly by the seat of our pants in this house. Everything is done at the last minute, very rarely scheduled, and when it is scheduled, is very rarely done on time!

Ok, now that that is off my chest....I am a planner! When something carries great importance or value to me or my family, it is planned. I am the one that plans the holiday get-togethers, 3 months before (Thanksgiving is planned and settled in September, at the latest!), I get the family together for special events that I know are coming down the road, I plan the parties and organize them, and I am the one that picks up the slack when someone close to me needs help and has way too much to handle and is out of their element. I AM A PLANNER!

So, this faith thing is really getting to me. I feel like Peter, out in the middle of the water, yelling for Jesus to save me. Seriously. That is me, right now! Nothing is coming together and deadlines are approaching. Everything that I keep setting my mind & heart on are colapsing right in front of my eyes. I am literally sick right now because my nerves cannot take anymore - literally sick people!!!

And yet I can do nothing else but trust all of my plans to the Lord. He says to be anxious about nothing (easier said than done God!!!) and I know He is talking to me. He is sitting back on his thrown, one leg crossed over the other, arms folded, and shaking his head...I know He is! He is wondering when I will let go. But I can't - its not that easy! I need to know that its all going to work out, that we haven't made a horrid mistake, that everything is going to work out at the right time, and that I am not a complete idiot.

So I will try, yet again, to trust Him. But seriously, a little bit of good news would be nice...