Today I read a post by Judy that stirred up something for me. She was discussing her thoughts on having children in the church service with you, and her shock at the fact that so many children weren't familiar with the songs, service etiquette, etc. (badly paraphrased by me so you really need to read her post to get the full picture). I tried to comment, but I couldn't keep it brief, so I decided to post my thoughts here.
I have very strong opinions on this topic, and have had many discussion with close friends about this very same thing. I've basically said that I would not attend a church that didn't provide age-appropriate services for my kiddos, or Children's Church, because I have no intention of going to church, only to miss the entire service because of dealing with my noisy, wriggling kiddos! So, read at your own risk and feel free to comment! Everyone has an opinion and I'd love to hear what you have to say - though it probably won't change my perspective :)
My input as being a child that grew-up in church would be this: My parents were on staff at almost every church I've ever attended. We were non-denominational, so there really wasn't an 'order' to the service. I grew up going to children's church, then graduated into 'big church' when I hit Jr. High. But, I was well prepared for the change when it arrived. Children's church taught me things at my level - not above my head - and we had our own praise & worship services that were fun, but taught me how to truly worship. I also grew up with a knowledge of the saving grace of Jesus, but as I grew, so did my understanding. And, when we left each week, I could tell my parents what we had learned that day and we would all discuss it over lunch. My parents were able to fulfill their commitments to their positions without having to worry about us (my sisters & I) and we were getting what we needed each & every week!
As a married mother, we attend a very free UMC church nearby and I still feel the same way. My kiddos go to their respective children's church services and worship at their own level (dancing around and having a blast, but also learning how to really worship the Lord with their entire being!). There are 2 different worship services for them, my 2 younger attend the Preschool service, my older the Elementary service. They all learn the same bible lessons, but at their own levels, so their perspective is totally different (and sometimes humorous), but wonderful. I love knowing that my kiddos are in an environment where they can learn and grow at their own pace, but still learn about the Word of God.
My getting to sit and enjoy 'big church' without them is just bonus!! My feeling is that if I'm not getting anything out of the service, then I might as well not be filling a spot. God wants us to worship in spirit and in truth, not just be there because it's Sunday. The point of church is not to just get perfect attendance, but to actually grow in our knowledge of the Lord & His word. I wouldn't be able to do that if I had 3 kiddos sitting next to me making noise, being even slightly disruptive, bored, etc. And, taking things for them to read or draw on doesn't work - I've tried that before, but my kids are 'active players' and noises just happen. I don't want to feel responsible for disrupting someone else either!
So, there you have it - my opinions on church and all that entails! I've done my best to stay brief because I could have gone on & on on this topic :) I'd love to hear your perspectives!
Monday, May 14, 2007
In Spirit and In Truth
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3 comments:
I really appreciate what you've said, Jennifer. You did a great job getting down what you were thinking!
We do have an alternative program at our 11 a.m. service - Promiseland, based on the Willow Creek church ministry program (have you heard of it?). However, in my opinion, it is another venue for Sunday School, which I LOVE, but not necessarily worship.
Our 8:30 service has about 130 people on a regular basis, and nursery is the only alternative for children at that time (and even with that, we only have about 2 kids in the nursery, one of them mine). So, Travis goes with us. For me, having Travis there with us in worship is just another way to teach him what it means to worship. It is a very moving thing to listen to him and my father discuss church together.
Speaking of, if you don't mind me asking, which UMC are you attending? We went to First UMC in Conroe for a number of years, and my dad is a Methodist Minister. He served in the Texas conference his entire career, retiring a few years ago after being District Superintendent in the Houston East District (Baytown, Texas City, Galveston, etc). A zillion years ago, he started Canterbury UMC off of Bellaire which has now merged with Gethsemane UMC right over by Sharpstown (another church my dad served. We were in Rosenberg at FUMC and Bear Creek UMC as well (that's where I got married). So, just out of curiosity, I was wondering which church you were attending!
And, while I'm rambling, do you guys use some form of security check in system for your nursery and children's ministry program? I just left a committee meeting tonight about that at our church and am trying to find out what a few other church are doing that works.
Okay, I'll be quiet now! HAHA
When LM was little, he went to the nursery so we could enjoy the services. As he got older, and I became a single mom looking for a new church home, it varied, depending on the church we were attending.
We left a church because children were not supposed to attend 'big church' with their parents, even when he was seven or older. I made the mistake of taking him in a couple times (before I realized this) and he loved the music and sat quietly while the sermon was presented.
He is now 11 and has been attending big church with me for the last several years. Our church has a children's church, but I don't take him to that.
I think it depends on a lot of variables. I don't want to have a child disrupting the people around them during the services, but if they can sit and listen, or quietly entertain themselves, then I like having them in church to enjoy the experience as a family. Perhaps if I had three kids, or some were small, I'd be singing the praises of Children's Church!!
Wow, good topic! I can totally see both sides of this issue, and they each have merit! I love the age appropriate teaching that my kids receive at Bible Hour (older kids) and Wee Worship (younger kids) every week. I'm often astounded by how quickly Katie's grasp of the gospel message is growing and the things that churn around in her head after class.
On the other hand, I grew up without any sort of children's church program and was expected to sit quietly with my parents and behave throughout services (I'm still not sure how they managed that--maybe we were actually more wiggly than I remember!) They tried to engage us, though, by asking us questions about the sermon and encouraging us to pay attention to what was going on. I think the experience was rewarding for us. Still, plenty of my friends got through years of the same experience without much understanding rubbing off on them, and a few of them actively rebelled later against what they perceived as a forced captivity in worship service.
I think in the end, a lot of it boils down to what you teach and talk about with your children during the hours you're not in worship service, how faith in God permeates your daily walk and talk, and the joy of Christ shining out through you. Hopefully, when all is said and done, your children will choose the same joy.
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