Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Ponderings

So, I guess I should start this particular entry by saying that I'm probably going to 'wax philosophical'. I just have so many things happening in my life right now - lots of uncertainties, lots of questions, lots of worry! As hard as I've tried to not let discouragement get the best of me, it's happening, and I feel like there's not a whole lot I can do about it. I greatly dislike having to wait around for something to happen - I'd prefer to just take control and to make it happen when I want it to. But, I do not have control of things! God has control of how things are going to happen in my life (and the life of my family), so I am forced to just sit and wait...

I guess I'll just share some of the thoughts that have been running through my mind, as of late...maybe they can be of some encouragement to you.

Last night, after a typically noisy dinner, I was standing in the kitchen, murmuring under my breath about how much I hate to wash the dishes, and how very tired I am of always having to 'clean' the kitchen. But then, a very small voice reminded me that I should be thankful that I have dishes to wash - that means we had food to eat. Then the voice said that I should remember that standing at the kitchen sink is a blessing - that means I have a house to live in, running water to clean with, and a safe haven for my family. Then, as I stood there feeling 'guilty' for complaining, the sounds of 'Neiner, Neiner, Neiner' came drifting into my thought pattern. Neiner, Neiner, Neiner??? Wait! Certainly that can't be the same small voice, could it?!?!

Nope, that was the sound of my kiddos and my husband, playing dodge ball in the living room. Not to worry though! It was a soft, inflatable ball. Yes, my deep thoughts were shattered by the sounds of laughter in the next room. Michael was playing with the kids before bedtime - a nightly ritual in this house - and tonight, the game of choice was dodge ball. As they ran round & round (passing through the living room, entry way, office, dining room, kitchen, and back into the living room) I was struck with the realization that the only thing I should worry about right now is my family. It is my responsibility to take care of them; to nurture them; to keep them from feeling the burdens of financial strain & frustration, and the general uncertainties of life. And, with my husband's help, they were having the time of their lives...right then...at that very moment...the only thing that mattered was that they not be the one to get 'slammed' by the ball, and that, with some teamwork, they 'get daddy'!

Hmmmm...maybe I should try that...maybe playing a bit more & worrying a bit less is the lesson that a certain Someone was trying to get across to me. Not to say that I shouldn't think about or pray about situations, but that maybe I should be having the time of my life, right now, this very moment!

2 comments:

jon said...

Ahh, I always figure there'll be plenty of time to worry when I retire, that's what old folks do. Maybe you should give yourself a half an hour a day of good solid worrying, and then just let it go. Just say the word 'poop' a few times.

cori said...

Carpe Diem!! Way to go Jenn - I'm proud of you for living in the moment. It is so easy to say and so hard to do. "Be still and know..." Love ya!