Things I've Learned

1. It is absolutely impossible to count on a 2 year old! Just when you think you've got his 'schedule' all figured out, and plan his 2nd birthday party for morning, he will wake up crabbier than all-get-out, cry and scream hysterically no matter how many nice things you say to him, and leave you with absolutely no photos showing how much fun he had at his birthday! Well, OK, this photo was taken prior to leaving for his birthday, but, as you can see, there was no way this child was going to smile. No matter how many goofy faces the photo-taker made, the outcome was the same. It was only after the flash went off that he'd sort of smirk at the camera, as if to say, 'Haha! You only think that you can control me!'

2. When setting up the 'area' at the birthday party, one should wait until the birthday boy is far, far away from the cake table. Telling a 2 year old not to touch the construction-themed cake, complete with small trucks and cookie crumbles, does not bode well for the parents, or anyone else in close proximity to the party facility. Not only was he told "Don't Touch!" about 15 times, all followed by screams and cries that caused other patrons to turn around to be sure you weren't punching the child in the face, which would cause these screams & cries, he was also instructed not to throw his birthday plates on the floor, which went over about as well as "Don't touch the cake!".

3. When lighting the 2 small candles on his birthday cake, you find out that your teachings may actually be sinking into his little brain! As soon as I lit his candles, he started screaming and crying, clawing to get away from the flames. I guess all of my "Don't Touch, HOT!" and "Owwwy!" comments when he approaches the occassional lit candle at home have really made an impact :) In light of this new development, I didn't mind having to blow out his candles so he would sit in front of the cake while we all sang a stirring rendition of "Happy Birthday to you".


4. Opening more than 2 gifts with a 2 year old is a cruel joke! After he opens one gift to discover a big truck, you quickly push that one aside and insist he open another one, to find another big truck. After taking that one away too, he no longer wants to go through the motions of opening any more gifts, since it's obvious to him that you will only strip that one away as well. 2 year olds are pretty smart...and stubborn!


5. Last, but certainly not least, when you get home, you should promptly put away all birthday gifts. Leaving them in gift bags, nicely arranged at the back of the living room, really isn't a good idea. As soon as you are out of sight & ear-shot, your 2 year old, with the assistance of his older brother & sister, will most certainly open each & every box and bag, remove all contents of said package and spread them all over the house, making it impossible to walk through any room without stepping on one object or another! And, you can forget finding a place to sit on your couch!!!