Too Many Changes

Change is good...change is good...change is good...change is good. In case you can't figure it out, I'm chanting...change is good...change is good...

I've had allot of changes taking place over the last few weeks, and with all of those changes has come some new responsibility. Even though, by nature, we as humans are creatures of habit, it has been said that change is good. I would have to say that I usually agree with that statement - that change is good - but sometimes too much change, all at the same time, can send one into...well, chaos! Though chaos is a typical event/feeling in my life (as witnessed by so many interesting blog postings), this chaos is a little different. It's not being caused by the goings-on of my children & husband, but by extended family and changes in the season. And, no, I'm not referring to allergies - though those have wreaked a minor havoc on 2 of my kiddos. I'm referring to seasons in life.

For instance, school is ending. Last Thursday was Morgann's last day of pre-school, while today is Alex's last day of Kindergarten. It seems like only yesterday that I was blogging about his first day of school...watching him board the school bus without even so much as a glance over his shoulder. And now? He's going to be a First Grader!!! Aaaahhhh!!!! He was up this morning, a bit late, running around yelling "Today's the last day of school! Today's the last day of school!" He seems just as excited about the last day of school as he did about the first day of school. I, on the other hand, am just as aprehensive about the last day of school as I was the first day of school. You see, this means that I will now have all 3 children, at home, with me, all day! For 3 kids that require so much interaction with others, this means that I will now be their teacher, events coordinator, referee, short-order cook (because I now have to provide lunches every single day!), and taxi driver. Please don't misunderstand me! I do all of those things I mentioned on the weekends, and the occassional holiday, but, for the most part, I thoroughly enjoy the days when 2 of my 3 children aren't here with me. Their absence allows me un-hindered access to do whatever I want - like going to the grocery store in peace, running to the local Target to browse, or taking the occassional well-deserved nap :) And as any mother knows, the occassional nap may be the only thing we have to look forward to when facing mountains of laundry and empty refrigerators! So, now I'm faced with the daunting task of entertaining my little monkies for the next 11 weeks (and, yes, I've counted!). Just the thought of it makes me tired!!!

Then there is the temporary loss of my MOPS group for the summer. This is another change that makes me shudder. As shallow as this may sound, attending my MOPS meetings every 2 weeks gives me the rare opportunity to sit at a table, having grown-up conversation, while eating a hot, home-made breakfast or brunch. It's absolute heaven! Childcare is provided, so for 2 1/2 glorious hours, it's just me and other mommies that can identify with the sheer bliss of eating a meal with no little fingers grabbing at the plate, and no shrieking, whinning children! Now mind you, I will still have contact with many in the group over the summer - thanks in part to the monthly moms-only dinner nights and planned play-dates - but, I've also joined the steering committee and, as a result of doing so, am blessed enough to have several over-the-weekend retreats to look forward to :) And, don't get me started on convention...it's in Nashville this year for 4 blessed days! My heart-rate just increased...is it September yet? But, I'm still left without my bi-weekly meetings and encouragement until next August, so even though I'm looking forward to a few MOPS events, I'm still sad about losing my support group meetings for a few months.

Then there are the changes taking place with my grandmother. This is my mom's mom, currently residing in Grand Prairie, TX (just outside of Dallas). She just celebrated her 82nd birthday! She too is facing a change in her life - leaving her home of 40+ years. Though she says she's excited about moving into an apartment for Senior Citizens, her actions and speach suggest otherwise. She's finding every reason in the world why moving isn't a possibility for her right now. And, to add to the long list of problems surrounding this situation, her daughters (my aunts) aren't all on the same page. While we all feel that getting her moved is very important, the way we all want to go about it differs, greatly! While one feels that allowing her to make her own decisions and determine her own destiny is the way to go, the rest of us feel that getting her out of harms-way is of utmost importance. She's in a very bad part of town, in a house that is crumbling around her. My mom, who would have moved her years ago - with our without her cooperation - isn't around to make it happen. So, knowing how my mom would have handled things, I feel a deep resposibility to take care of her mother. It's an added responsibility for me, and one that I am taking very seriously. My problem is that I live 3 1/2 hours away, and do not have the authority to make certain decisions. So, while I am working feverishly to do whatever I can, my hands are somewhat tied. It's frustrating, to say the least!

So, let's re-cap, shall we? My daughter is moving up to 3 year old preschool in the fall, my oldest is going to be a first grader, and my youngest will begin Mother's Day Out - this means my children are growing up - and changing. I am now faced with the daunting task of entertaining my children every day, sun-up to sun-down, and keeping my sanity at the same time. My last MOPS meeting for the year took place yesterday, so I'm left with no support-group meetings to attend for another 12 weeks. Can I make it on my own? Ok, well maybe not on my own because I still have play-dates and phone calls, but still... And, don't even get me started with the things happening within my extended family! Just thinking about it sends my brain into overload.

Change is good....change is good....change is good....change is good....

Maybe if I keep saying it enough times, I'll start to believe it.