Another Big Day

So, today was Morgann's first day of preschool - Yea!!! She was so brave and excited - she went right in, helped me to place her 'too heby" lunch box into the designated lunch box basket, then went on to play with the playdough placed on one of the tables. I was like the paparazzi snapping all sorts of pictures of her as she played away. I decided to stick around to be certain that the 2 screaming children that were left at the same time we got there would not ruffle her feathers or get her upset, but I think I probably could have left right away and it wouldn't have made a difference! I guess that since she was fairly familiar with the school already, it wasn't any big deal for her to be there again this year! Thank God!!!

I really have no idea how her day went since grandma picked her up and there was no written report in her backpack, but I'm guessing that things went fine since I didn't get a phone call during the day telling me otherwise. I can say, very proudly, that she made it through her first day of school with no 'accidents'! She came home in the same panties she left the house in this morning :) She has actually been fully potty trained for about 3 weeks now, but I was worried that being in a different place with strange people might cause her to 'hold it' or to 'not hold it', but, again, I wasted my energy being worried about her.

I guess we've done pretty well at raising 2 very independent kiddos. Now, if I can just leave the room without Ian totally coming apart, then I'll know I've accomplished something!

Back to Normal?

I don't know if I can truly say that or not, but we're getting close, I guess. Our definition of normal around here is what is typically going on for the better part of the year, which in this case is school. Alex has been attending preschool since he was 3, and both Alex & Morgann attended the same private preschool last year - he in K4 on Tues & Thurs, she in Mother's Day Out on Thurs. The peace & quiet was absolutely wonderful, but not long enough. Alex's class ended at 1PM and Morgann's at 2:30, and since they didn't start the day until 9AM, I was only allowed 4 hours (3 1/2 if you take out the drive-time) on my own. And, considering I had a newborn baby at home, I still wasn't alone! But, I'm not complaining! It was truly a blessing that we could afford to have our children in a private school with such an awesome reputation, and that I was given this downtime to sleep, eat, clean, etc. with my new baby :)

So, here we are on day 3 of the school year and things are going smoothly. I'm fully expecting a 'bump' at any time, but until then, I'm enjoying the ride :) Alex has made a new friend - also a kindergartner - up the street at the next bus stop, so watching them run & embrace each other this morning was fun! I was concerned about him making friends right away, but apparently I was wasting energy being concerned at all!! I will be taking Morgann to her school this afternoon for "Meet the Teacher", so she's very excited about that - we all are! She'll begin her 2 day a week preschool classes on Tuesday, so, again, I will have a bit of time for myself. My hope is that I can, at some point anyway, join a local health club, and begin working on getting my body back to it's former self. I have a closet full of clothes I can't wear, and it's killing me! So, my goal is to drop Morgann off at 9AM on Tues & Thurs, then I'll head straight to the gym where Ian can play in the daycare center for an hour or so while I whip my butt back into shape - literally!

On that note, I think I'll sign off. Since I've been up since 6:30AM - the days are getting earlier & earlier around here! - I'm leaning toward laying down on the couch for about 30 minutes before I start getting myself ready to leave for Meet the Teacher. To everyone that reads this entry today, I hope you each have a wonderful day! And for the mommies that frequent my entries, you should take the advice of Jelly Mom and enjoy exploring the world around you :)

Waving Goodbye

It's done! As I choke back tears and try to 'be strong', my little man has stepped onto the school bus and into another phase of his life. He spent the better part of the morning asking if the bus was here yet - as soon as his eyes opened, during breakfast, and while brushing his teeth. Alex was so ready to leave that it almost hurt my feelings - almost. I know he's terribly excited about his first day of kindergarten and getting to ride the bus there & home, which means I also know not to take it personally :) As Michael & I prayed for his safety before he left, and that he would have not only a blessed day, but a blessed year, I couldn't help but think back to the first time I held him in my arms. It seems like so long ago, but then again, only yesterday. Hmmm...time really does fly!

So now, I'm forced to sit at home and hope that he gets from the bus to his classroom, then the classroom back to the bus, safely. Even though I'm very excited that this day has finally arrived and I will no longer have to endure the constant barrage of questions and daily chore of keeping his busy mind occupied, I will still miss him terribly!

I'll be sure to post more on his day when he gets home - I'm sure there will be lots of stories :) Let's see, only 7 more hours...

7:50PM - Well, so far this evening, the most I've been able to get out of Alex about his first day of school was "I don't remember, mom!" Can you believe that?!? All day - a whole 7 hours - and he can't remember? How typical of a man? I, on the other hand, accidentally met a parent down the street from us. A little girl got off at our bus stop, but apparently shouldn't have! I saw her walking very quickly up the street and crying, so I asked if I could help her get home. Unfortunately, I didn't know where her street was, other than it was 'that way' so we started walking. I caught a mommy on her way into her house and asked if she happened to know where this street was, and thankfully, she did! Her 2 older kids walked the little girl the rest of the way, but we stood and chatted for a while. They live at the next corner, which also happens to be the next bus stop, so she suggested that we go down there tomorrow so that I can meet some of the other parents and their kids! How fun :) There aren't any other kids at our bus stop, so I figure we might as well make some friends when we have the chance to.

So, until tomorrow comes, I'll be going through the stack of stuff that the school sent home for me to read, sign and/or return. Since when do parents get homework?!?!?

The Saga Continues...

Well, in my eagerness to drive my point home last night, I failed to consider what I'd be dealing with today! Something I didn't mention in last night's posting was that poor Alex gets very sick when he doesn't get enough to eat. He has blood sugar issues, so you can imagine my lack of surprise when I woke to the sound of his gagging as he entered my room at 6:30AM. Thankfully, we made it to the bathroom - the first time. After we cleaned him up a bit, I put him on the couch with his sister that had already been awake for more than an hour (she was up at 5AM and I'll tell you why in a second) with his usual gatorade & toast - this is what he usually eats after getting sick like this. He asked me to give him some grapes & apples too, which I did, but I gave him instructions to first eat the toast. Did he do what I told him to do? No! He ate only the fruit, which didn't sit well on his stomach. This time, he missed the bathroom all together and threw up the fruit & red gatorade all over our living room carpet. Anyone have any idea how to get rid of red gatorade stains? My OxyClean isn't working!!!

I'll just cut to the end and tell you that he continued to throw up for the next 2 hours - a total of 5 times! Our usual bout with his blood sugar sickness is only 1 time, so I was starting to wonder if maybe, however coincidentally it might be, he had a stomach virus. Thankfully, I can so no he doesn't. But because of the numerous missed trips to the bathroom, I was forced to sweep & mop the floor, do a load of laundry and I've been scrubbing the carpet ever since! I think I'm being punished more than him!

Backing up a bit now, the reason his sister Morgann has been up so long is similar in that she woke us up by throwing up in her bed. We still have a nursery monitor in her room, so you can imagine how shocked I was to hear her yelling for me, coughing, then choking. I think I took the stairs 3 at a time to get to her room! I think that with all of the chaos that ensued last night, I didn't stop to realize that even though Morgann had eaten a few bites of her dinner, she didn't eat very much. So, since she didn't get enough to eat (or so I'm guessing at this point), she too woke up sick. She just beat Alex to it! The difference though is that she ate a piece of toast, watched Dora the Explorer, and drank her gatorade; she's been fine ever since!

So, even more than ever, I'm totally doubting my ability to deal with my children appropriately! Michael & I have decided that the next time this occurs, we'll be sure to administer a consequence appropriate to the disobedience, but we'll give him something else to eat, rather than to send him to bed hungry. Like I said, our being punished like this wasn't part of the plan!

A Heartbreaking Moment

Tonight was a night that I think Michael & I will probably always remember. I'm sure it's a night that Alex won't soon forget either. You see, he went to bed hungry tonight - and it broke my heart! It truly made me wish that I wasn't his mother because I wanted so badly to give in to his pleadings. And, I now know what my parents felt during a similar battle when I was young. It all came about because he absolutely refused to eat his dinner. He insisted that he didn't like it, and came to this conclusion without even picking up his spoon! He simply looked at it, saw it was something new, and decided he wouldn't eat it.

I guess in his mind, he figured that if he cried long enough, cried loud enough, and begged enough times, he would eventually be given something else to eat. And, he was right with one exception. The instructions given to him were as follows: take 5 bites of your dinner and I'll give you some apples & grapes. These were my exact words. Five measly bites of something he'd never tried and very well might have liked! Was that really too much for me to ask of my son?

It wasn't so much that I wanted to him to eat the beef stew on his plate because of it's health value; it was the principle of the situation. I felt that it was a test for both of us. In my mind, if I gave in to his demands, then he won! What kind of parent would I be if I allowed a tantrum to win a battle? On the other hand, what kind of parent am I that I forced him to go to bed hungry? Talk about feeling torn!!! My heart wanted to badly to just give him the stupid apple to end what lasted for more than 2 hours, but my head told me to stick to my guns at all costs. I'm wondering what that cost might have been?

When I was younger, a similar occurrence happened between me & my parents. The culprit was cooked spinach - something I still can't choke down. My mother had put it into an omlet and my instructions were to eat the whole thing. Well, I did, except that I picked out every last leaf of spinach, leaving a nice little pile of the green mush on my plate. That just wasn't acceptable to my parents, so a battle ensued. Without re-living the whole incident over, or making my parents out to be horrible monsters (which they definitely were not), I very distinctly remember sitting there, starring at that plate and thinking that if I held out long enough, they'd give in. I don't think I could have been more wrong. So, of course, in this situation, I felt that Alex was doing the same thing to me. Though his personality is very different from mine, I cannot say that he would never do such a thing. Anyone is capable of defiance!

So, I'm wondering if sending my 5 year old to bed hungry was too much, or justified? I'm not sure I'll ever know the answer to that. I know that Michael, who wanted to have nothing to do with this battle, is upset because he ended up in the middle of it, having to enforce my rules. This too is something that I feel very badly about. But, had the shoe been on his foot instead of mine, and it has been many times, I would have been forced to carry out Michael's rules as well. This is the part of being a parent that you don't ever think you'll have to face. After all, "my children will never cross me like I crossed my parents!" I think I'll choose to hope that this will be a lesson learned by all of us; that Alex will always remember that we are the parents and sometimes he'll have to do what we say, regardless of what he wants or doesn't want at that moment; and that we will never have to go around this mountain again!

My heart breaks for my little boy! I truly feel about 2 inches tall at this moment, confessing my shortcomings as a parent to all who come across this entry. But, my hope is that the lesson that I feebly attempted to teach him will actually be a reminder to him, and not a wound he will carry for the rest of his childhood. I was sure to tell him about 100 times how much I loved him and that he was the most important 5 year old in my life. And, I made him a promise that I will be getting up extra early to fulfill - I promised him a big, yummy breakfast!

- - - Just a postscript to this entry: About the time I finished typing out my confession to the world, my sweet little boy came down the stairs and said one last time that he was hungry. Since he's been dead asleep for the last 2 1/2 hours, I figure that I've probably driven my point home. And, by the way, he's laying on the couch eating 1/2 an apple, a dozen or so grapes, and watching The Book of Virtues. So, for those of you ready to call the CPS on me, please know that I would never do anything to physically harm my children. My children are my life, my entire world! And, Alex, if you read this years down the road, know that I love you more than anything else, and, at this moment, my heart still hurts...